"Little" Suzy's Resolve_The Sleepwalk_Where's the Bathroom?_The Bat and the Cat
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"Little" Suzy's Resolve
“Little” Suzy’s Resolve"New Year’s comes but once a year," so the song her daddy sings says. But for “Little” Suzy Conner, once a year is one time too many. Last year, she promised herself she would fulfill her list of resolutions and it never happened. The holidays snuck up on her and by the time the neighbor’s New Year's Eve party came, she was done for. But not this time! This time “Little” Suzy had a plan. This time “Little” Suzy Conner would see the New Year in right. This time, she would get them all done before bedtime. Sometimes a 6-year-old has to do what a 6-year-old has to do. Why ...
The Sleepwalk
There are popsicle sticks everywhere, including my midriff.A signal something is wrong. Or at the very least not completely right. I peel one off my left tit and am disappointed that it doesn’t have a joke written on it. I shout “Buckets!” and throw it across the room, hoping it lands somewhere in the vicinity of the trash can. I roll out of bed and head to the head for my first piss of the day. Mid-stream she appears in the doorway.“Glad to see you’re pissing without laughing this morning,” she says, not looking very pleased.I am perplexed.“Do I usually laugh when I piss?” I ask, sincerely wo...
Where's the Bathroom?
“Bwat bre bou baying? Bi bannot bunderstand bou!” Of course Banthony couldn’t understand her, Zarah was not speaking Bibish. Where she comes from, no one does and no amount of frustrated and slightly sardonic Bibish would get him or her closer to thoughtful communication.“Zhis zis zointless.” She turned to face the cell wall, crossed her arms and dropped her rump on the cement floor, trying to relax her furrowed brow. She hoped her cellmate pacing behind her could understand what that gesture meant: “Ze’re zowww.onedoor.ccomed”. Banthony had understood and promptly responded with a gesture of his own, dire...
The Bat and the Cat
Frowning inwardly, tail twitching, I watched as my owner walked in with yet another stray. Four was already too many, now there would be five of us? This lady was obsessed. She had to stop bringing home every sad, mewling sap she came across on her way home from work. Dumping a lunch bag, a purse, and her keys on the table, she began to pet and soothe the wide-eyed, fluff ball she held under one arm.This cat's white fur had seen better days, and the lady set to work filling the sink with warm water and Dawn dish soap. The matted cat reeked of oil. Its ears were flattened against its head and i...