Uncle_The New and Improved 2023-24 Faculty Handbook_Flop_Wednesday aka the THNGVBD
Catalog Guide:
Uncle
This Christmas, you are an uncle. I know you didn’t ask to take on this role – it’s kind of shitty of your sister for going on and having children without even asking you how you felt about assuming such responsibility; but once she pops them out, society says you got a new name and you can't do anything about it – so I’m going to help you out and give you some advice on how to meet your nephew and niece for the first time (because no one ever offered me any).Now, first, I want to congratulate you on managing to avoid every family holiday gathering for the last five years. I mean you made me m...
The New and Improved 2023-24 Faculty Handbook
“Good morning, everyone! I do hope you are having a wonderful prep week. I managed to stop by a few classrooms today, and wow! You guys have really stepped it up this year, I gotta say. We sure have improved your classroom setups. I was just talking to Tammy Belford about her putting tennis balls on the ends of those chairs in the lab. We didn’t really have the budget for new tile, so I for one am glad our kids won’t be scratching up the floors this year!”“Now before we get into the changes to the handbook, I wwww.onedoor.ccant to introduce some of the new teachers we brought in this year. First, I want to...
Flop
"I'm retired", I say tiredly to the person on the other side of the phone. I don't recognize the voice, so I assume it's someone new, someone who was hired way past my last day working there.It's 3 in the morning, and the person on the phone can barely speak from the panic."I'm sorry, sir, I'm really really sorry, I didn't know what else to do!" She takes a quick moment to gather her thoughts. "Listen, we have a very dire situation here, and I was told to go through the files and start contacting specialists. You were part of the development team, and there's no one else that understands the t...
Wednesday aka the THNGVBD
Wednesdays are usually a good day. The weekend eve if you want to get all “Office Space” about it. Wednesdays mean you’re halfway there. Sometimes they mean drink specials or birthday dinners, something to look forward to with the safety net of not being expected to stay out until all hours the next morning. On this Wednesday I woke up feeling incredible. I didn’t need my alarm to wake me, my circadian clock somehow finally in tune with the world around it. With my eyes still closed I stretch my arms above my head feeling like someone in a mattress commercial waking up after they finally made ...