Translational Error_Blubby and Me_How to Hack your Fridge_THE CHINESE DELEGATION VISITS THE WHITE HO
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Translational Error
“We will accept nothing less than your unconditional surrender. Resist, and you will be annihilated.” The series of clicks and snaps, coming from the segmented mouthparts of the looming arthropod at the end of the table, confirms my nagging suspicion that I really don’t want to be here. The massive nonhuman, a creature that resembles nothing more than a chain of glossy, dark gray beads sporting segmented legs, is coiled around what passes for a chair to its species, and looks to me like a cat tower made out of obsidian. The being… reclining there?… clearly is not at ease, shifting its sinuous ...
Blubby and Me
CW: Mental health. Brief sexual references.I feel a little shaky about my first shift as a twilight stock replacer. It’s 3 a.m., and I’m in the staff room of Savers supermarket.‘Are there any questions?’ Mandy, the manager, asks the team.The teenage girl, who came in late, raises her hand. 'Is it true that Mr Blubby is coming to open the store?’‘Yes, I've already covered that. Let’s get to work, everyone.’Every member of staff sleepwalks out of the staffroom. Except me. Mandy apprehends me in the doorway. ‘Jeff, if you’d like to follow me to the biscuit aisle, we’ll get started there.'I nod.'A...
How to Hack your Fridge
Eleven days into the New Year, Merinda knew that she couldn’t keep yet another of her resolutions; she needed toast and she needed it now. Nursing her aching head, a sad reminder of how she had broken the first set of New Year’s resolutions last night, she made her lurching way to the kitchen. “Dry”www.onedoor.cc January was actually wet in weather and wine; and her pledge of “no late nights” had been binned when she tripped over the bottles on her way to bed at 3、25am. At least Mark had kept her company, but where was he now? In the kitchen she found a note:Left you sleeping. Looked like you needed it! Off...
THE CHINESE DELEGATION VISITS THE WHITE HOUSE
(With Acknowledgement to Abbott and Costello)The Chinese contingent visiting the White House, made up of current and past leaders:Xi Jinping (Paramount Leader)Hu Jintao (Paramount Leader 2004-2013)Wen Jiabao (Premier)Hou Guofeng Wat Lien ChanYu Kuo-hwa He Zhao ZiyangThe American president is given a thorough briefing prior to such a high-level meeting to acquaint him with the very important attendees.American President: “Bob, what’s on the agenda this afternoon?”Advisor to the President: “Sir, you have a very important meeting with the current and past Chinese leadership. All the most senior p...