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Clad in a full French maid's outfit, I pulled a tray of cookies out of the small oven in our loft. Love makes you do strange things. "Just one more batch to go, mademoiselle...or should I say monsieur?" My girlfriend had taken to literally wearing the pants in our relationship, so the question seemed appropriate. Ashley kissed me on the lips, playfully fluffing my layered skirt. I loved when she did that. "That mustache looks ridiculous. Who do you think you are, Hercule Poirot in heels?"My mocha skinned girlfriend had on a stylish black pantsuit. With her petite figure, long wavy hair, and bu...
We’ve Got 99 Problems, and Here’s Our Top 10
File Name: Transcription of FWU’s 2020 Graduation Ceremony Introduction and Commencement SpeechTranscribed June 5, 2020[0:00] College President: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, students and faculty alike. Tonight we gather in celebration, festivity, and merriment, to recognize and honor First World University’s graduating class of 2020!Audience: [applause, whistles] College President: These well deserving problems, 99 in total, have more than earned their right to walk across this stage tonight; many going above and beyond the university’s standa...
Merry Mary, Marry Me?
‘I never expected that…’ Mary thought to herself, ‘How odd…’ Balancing the tray of home-baked cookies on her lap, she pondered the day while riding in the back seat of the Uber. Her neighbor, Sally, asked her to watch her eight year-old son, George. They helped each other out. Today, Sally needed last minute items for her New Year’s party. George challenged her to play some board game he’d gotten from Santa. They sat on the floor by the tree. Games always gave Mary a chance to get to know people. The game made no difference. George excelled so Mary let him teach her. He became serious. “Is s...
Cold Bird Christmas
Cold Bird Christmas by Matt Keating“Mutually assured destruction,” is not a phrase traditionally found in Christmas sentiments. Nick considered this omission by the carol composers to be uwww.onedoor.ccnfortunate. He intended to notate this observation if he managed to survive the violent and rather capricious petulance rattling above the corner bookshelves.Nicholas was born old and without imagination. His toys were irrelevant. He was given a stuffed animal once; a lion he named Lion, but Lion was just a soft thing. Nicholas never spoke to Lion, never brought him into any imaginary worlds, he gave him no ...