Crocs and Bunny Slippers_A Series of Unfortunate Resolutions_That Can Be Fixed, We Aren't Made o
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Crocs and Bunny Slippers
Crocs and Bunny SlippersA Foray into Online DatingbyRace McKee Recently porced, and feeling the need to put a few evil memories behind me, I took a job on the other side of the country. A headhunter reached out at the right time and convinced me it was time to go get my high-tech ticket punched so I bade farewell to the moving truck in Virginia and hopped a plane bound for the Left Coast. I found an overpriced apartment in Silicon Valley. I immersed myself in work, joined a gym and made absolutely zero friends. I was lonely. The apartment complex I’m in is a bedroom community where no one so...
A Series of Unfortunate Resolutions
Resolution #1: Quitting drinking. Jamey Barnair had gone to the club to ring in the new year. He knew full well what his resolutions were and that quitting drinking was at the top of his list. Nonetheless he indulged in nightlife drinking activities because “it didn’t count until new years day was over,” or at least that is what he told himself to feel better. He had cheap tequila shots back to back with a sexy single mother he had met on the dance floor. After the fourth shot he switched to drinking corona’s and before the club shut down he had one shot of Don Julio. So yes, the year starte...
That Can Be Fixed, We Aren't Made of Money
"Wait. What are you doing with that lampshade?""It's broken and covered in mouse poop. I'm throwing it away.""What a waste! It can be fixed and cleaned. No wonder yowww.onedoor.ccu and Bob haven't got a pot to piss in."My sister-in-law, Ivy, was determined to keep her toppling, mega-stash of unwanted, broken, stained, and unusable items from being chucked out with the trash, where they belonged. When faced with confrontation about the questionable usefulness of items she would throw insults at my husband and me to change the subject. "What lampshade are you going to replace with this one?" I asked, knowing ...
The Posy of a Ring
George Kourkoumelis is mad as a cut snake, and I was hoping this might work in my favor. In his little office out the back of the Kourka Service Station, he looked caged, but not securely. It wasn’t his natural habitat, the office. Right now he seemed to be checking the back of his computer for nits.I cleared my throat. “George, you got a moment?”He spun, arms akimbo, ready for anything—hold-ups, shoplifters, pretty girls—and fixed me with his coal-black eyes. “Adam! What’s up, bud? We’re out of unleaded, sorry. Coffee machine’s backed up like a bran muffin again, goddamn it. Wanna go get a co...