A turtleneck and A Lifetime of Firsts_I Interviewed "The Pet Rater" and I Wasn't Surpr
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A turtleneck and A Lifetime of Firsts
There are so many firsts we experience throughout our lives. Straight out of the womb, I had my first first; I was my parent’s first baby, I was a first grandchild, a first cousin and I was the First born, of four girls. As the first born, my clothes became “hand me downs” for my little sisters. My clothes were mostly “hand me downs” from my older cousins. As a toddler, I had this rainbow turtleneck that I practically lived in. I refused to pass it to my sisters, and even when it became too small, I would wear it like a bikini top. My rainbow turtleneck bikini top. I looked ridiculous. I lived...
I Interviewed "The Pet Rater" and I Wasn't Surprised at All
[The following is a transcript of a portion of episode 487 of Vertigone’s Who The What?! Podcast. For the full feature, go to vertigone.com/WTWpod or wherever you get your podcasts]When I sat down with YouTube sensation Barney, from petrater.com, I wasn’t sure what to expect. His aloof persona, as seen in his hundreds of videos, whose view counts are nearly all above 25 million, has remained surprisingly consistent in the years he’s been making content. In fact, it’s nearly impossible to tell his early videos apart from his recent work. While that lack of growth may seem detrimental at first, ...
Not As Advertised
As I, Martin Hernandez, look up from my morning-after shower… I see a spider (daddy long legs) spinning an ant in its web. The morning-after wasn’t rough, it was horrifically whimsical. Like getting beautifully drunk, but spending the night with a ghost everyone can see, hear, and fear. I met Shelly online: Tinder. But I was spun in like that ant on the web. Her pictures showed a vibrant and smiling girl. Skin and makeup doused in beauty, and her dress sunnier then El Sol. I was lonely and so was she. I rolled the dice. Nowadays, people can paint perfect pictures of themselves and con, both th...
Hey! What About Me?!
Hey! What About Me?! “I don’t get no respect.” – Rodney DangerfieldThis is nuts. Dark, crowded and wet. I about can’t take it anymore. Day after day, week after week, month after month. Dogs are two months. I could live with that. Or how about mice? Twenty-five days tops! And I have to put up with this for nine months? Life ain’t fair, I tell you.And I’m not real fond of the company in here. The guy I call “Big Boy” is huge! He takes up most of the room in here. Then there’s the little guy. I call him “Squirmer” because he NEVER stops moving around. He’s alwa...