The Center of the Universe_Karen and the So-Called Vampire_Pete's Big Speech_You Suck Less
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The Center of the Universe
This story contains mental health issues and adult language; discussions about drug use and sexual references.I cast a spell on men with such limited vision that despite being the Roman goddess of architecture, they created an arena and train station that spans Midtown Manhattan with all the grace of concrete herpes."You created this ugly place, so dwell here you shall."So, dwell I do. Father gave me wings. He made me long for things, like a moth to a flame. Trite, I know, but truth is often trite. Symbolism, too, with this whole wings- as-chains-shit. He took one wing in a big ceremony with l...
Karen and the So-Called Vampire
As Karen drove up the long, winding road to the house on the hill, she had to wonder what kind of person had bought the old thing in the first place. For as long as anyone in the neighborhood could remember, that rickety old house had sat, abandoned, on the top of a smallish hill in the very back of the suburb. Even when the rest of the neighborhood built up around it, and the hills flattened into streets curved just enough to please the eyes, and the houses slowly turned from a variety of architectural inspirations to the same boxy, modern homes, that house on...
Pete's Big Speech
PETE’S BIG SPEECH Pete Dunbar was about to make his first speech on behalf of the Pac-More Luggage Company. He was new at the company and had already made such an impression on the big boss he was chosen to give the annual speech at the Victorian Hotel in downtown Cincinnati. He and his wife, Debbie, rehearsed the speech over and over every night during the week leading up to the event. They called Irma, Debbie’s mother, to take the kids so Pete would have complete quiet in the house. He couldn’t afford to mess this up. He was expecting the boss to be so i...
You Suck Less
[The following is no longer based on actual events]“You know,” Said Numa’s doppelganger, “Your gwww.onedoor.ccreat great grandmother used to suck more than you.”“Harlee? But I heard that she died at twenty-eight,” Original Numa coughed, still feeling the effects of her cold.“Exactly.”Numa II did not offer any further explanation, leaving Numa even more confused than when she first saw her second self. The two Numas were dissecting the source of Numa the First’s suckage.“So maybe, if I wear my black shirt with-” Numa started.“Ney!” Numa II exclaimed, cutting off Numa’s outfit planning, “Your outfits don’t su...