April Fools_Oh Rats!_Eyes On The List_The Best Part Is Not Wearing Pants
Catalog Guide:
April Fools
Mild swear warning The day started off normally, the Aunties pitched together to make a feast and the Uncles decorated the courtyard. The grandparents sat in the shade and watched, and the children ran around, getting under everyone's feet. I sat down under the big oak, reading my new favourite book, Frankenstein, by Mary Shelley. I was thinking up some new pranks as well, our family is well known for its elaborate, and exciting jokes. This year I thought I might do something with the ducks. I had a vague idea including balloons, streamers, and quacks. Abby came through the gate, dragging her ...
Oh Rats!
Francoch Ratta, a 27-year-old New Yorker of Irish-Italian descent, woke up one morning to find he had a peculiar sensation. It was as if someone, or something, was watching him. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but it was a feeling that wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried to shake it off. He went about his day as usual, working at the pub that served beer and pizza, exercising, drinking, and even dating girls. But the feeling persisted, and it was starting to affect his daily life. Especially his secret love of rodents. A.K.A. Mouses and rats. Francoch's love for rodents had a...
Eyes On The List
Normal Saturdays are bad enough. But this is the darkest of all Saturdays. The Saturday before Christmas and the inescapable tradition of festive panic buying. Record numbers of frantic, greedy, hunter gatherers in tracksuit bottoms, woolly hats and caffeinated eyes, drag paper chains of children across the car park in various states of tantrum, whinging and sugar infused mania.First, I have to get to the front door. Weaving between queues of rageful drivers as they inch forward to the bumper in front. The tension in the air is as dense as cold butter from the fridge. Trolleys lie abandoned li...
The Best Part Is Not Wearing Pants
By Phil's humble estimation, the best part about the pandemic was being able to work from home without wearing pants. It was even better than the superiority he felt from being "pretty much bilingual thanks to Telemundo" in a country of awww.onedoor.ccrrogant English-only speakers. Even better than not having to smell a client's day-old-tuna-fish breath. Even better than turning up to a job jelly-limbed and wasted, which he could do so much more easily now.Take today, for example. Nine in the morning and he'd already downed three Irish coffees, which gave him both a blissful numbness from the whiskey's buzz...