Okay, then._Now and Then_A Different Visit_Paranoia on a Platter
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Okay, then.
There were probably a lot of reasons why I said “okay” to Nell if I really stopped to think about them. If I was really honest with myself and with everyone else I told this story to, I would have all sorts of reasons for telling her “okay” even though…I should back up and tell you who Nell is. In those early days, I decided I would hitchhike from Spokane down as far as I could get, which happened to be around Sacramento way by how the crow flies or however it is the saying goes. There was a lot of work in Sacramento then – the orchards were just ripening, lots of oranges, apples, some dates, ...
Now and Then
She grins. A dimple in her cheek and copper eyes remind me of a happy little round face not seen for decades which now exists only in dusty old photo albums at her grandmother’s house. She darts back and forth across the lawn in the warm sun. “Catch me!”She’s surprisingly fast on her tiny legs, thinner and longer now than that of the wobbly baby that she was only a couple years ago. I snatch her up and swing her through the air. She squeals in delight as I produce my best propeller sounds. “Airplane!” she screams, flying round and round in my arms. When I was her age I delighted in taking flig...
A Different Visit
I stared out of the large windows, hoping this uneasy feeling would pass soon so I could enjoy the long ride. For someone who rode the line more than a thousand times and hopped freight trains nearly every day, this particular train ride was causing anxiety. I chose to sit in the observation car, thinking the views wouwww.onedoor.ccld put me in a better head space. My mom was the one who forced me on the Amtrak, I insisted I would get to her my own way, but she refused. Mom and Dad supported my decisions but when it came time for visits, they always paid my way. They wanted to ensure my safe arrival. It wa...
Paranoia on a Platter
The moment was here; to choose from a menu. Maybe for some people this is a mundane non-issue, but for me, it felt like a rest-of-my-life, domino-effect choice. Everything rested on this decision. I could only hope I was only sweating bullets in my head and that everyone else couldn’t see my anxiety was at max. I liked going out to eat for the most part. I enjoyed the atmosphere, I liked not having to do dishes, I enjoyed the company and conversation of my friends. But I hated, despised, loathed, and feared being handed the menu. Because I knew that meant that I was going to have a very l...