Mean Machine_A Hotdog in the Snow_Misfortunate_Glendora Retirement Village
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Mean Machine
“Whereas the acts pertaining to the previous clause hereto form this part of the agreement, there is no representation, direct or implied, on behalf of the licensor…”Jeremy looked around him at the people who surrounded him in this place of worship and he wondered how it was that he was surrounded by beatific faces. Not for the first time, he wondered whether there was something in the water supply, or even in the air itself. Why was it that he was immune to all this nonsense? This was all gobbledegook, but somehow it struck a chord with the people around him. They really felt it, but somehow,...
A Hotdog in the Snow
I don't even think I walked this fast when I took Intro to Jogging my sophomore year.It's 9:01 am and my professor for my 300 level social media class still locks the classroom doors as if we're in a poorly-budgeted remake of The Breakfast Club. It also doesn't help that it's been snowing since Monday and in my hungover stupor I chose the not-yet-trending UGG slippers to drudge through the snowpocalypse in.Nevertheless, this bitch persisted.It's January of my senior year of college and the fact that I am stress sweating over a social media class is only the 30th reason this week why I'm rethin...
Misfortunate
There’s no predicting me. I can’t even predict myself. I went to a fortune teller, a card reader, and I paid her twenty dollars and she looked at me and she gave me the money back and said, I can’t do anything with you at all – there’s no predicting you. That’s the kind of guy I am. I could wake up in the morning believing in all kinds of things, and before the days out I’m a complete sceptic about all of them. One day I’m a scientist, the next I’m I Pentecostal minister. That’s the kind of person you’re dealing with here. So be warned, you could attempt to predict me, but it wouldn’t work.I’l...
Glendora Retirement Village
“I do find policemen frightfully tiresome!’Mrs Marigold Smith sat at the round table waving away the Detective Sargent’s polite question with a bored hand. The table had been moved to the window side of the dining hall so as not to interfere with the resident’s lunch service. Detective Wallace reminded himself not to take anything personally. ‘Keep the professional wall up’ was his own internal advice. But as the old woman’s blue rinse hair and necklace of huge round glistening baubles caught the sun’s light, it gave her the glowing appearance of having been plugged into the mains power and li...