The Redemption of Calvin Bushytail_The Eyes Have it._Are You Going to Be Long?_The Hijacking of Inst
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The Redemption of Calvin Bushytail
Don’t you remember the story of Calvin Bushytail? You don’t? That’s odd, considering it was on the front page of every major squirrel news website just recently. What? Yes, of course squirrels have news websites. What kind of question is that? Okay, fine, I’ll tell you the story, but please pay attention, because I’ll only tell it once; you should probably put your phone down for this.First off, you should know that hardly anything newsworthy ever happens in Squirrel Town. After all, it’s not a hustling and bustling metropolis like Squirrel City or Squirrelsville. Heck, it’s not even like Squi...
The Eyes Have it.
I can see it now but it wasn't always that way. My mother, rather than shower me with the necessities of life, handed down an hereditary corneal dystrophy. My father, whose biggest achievement was meeting Queen Elizabeth in 1954, put my eyesight problem down to masturbating far too often. As my eyesight problem was evident at age two, it became obvious the genes passed down included his own masturbation excesses. Little did either of them realise, eyesight was to provide me with two events of major significance as I journeyed through what is commonly referred to as 'life'. The first was none o...
Are You Going to Be Long?
“Are you going to be long?’ “I think maybe so. I have a lot of work to do here. I can’t rush it” “Okay, I’ll go downstairs then.”This interchange has become something of a ritual between my wife and me. We’ve even performed it in our local bar, much to the laughing delight of some of the customers who know us well, and know about my strange writer’s sanctuary.The Ritual BeginsThe ritual had something of a strange beginning (as if the continuance of it is not strange enough in itself). I was sitting there, doing what you do there, but thinking of how, since I retired, the flow of my writing ...
The Hijacking of Instagram KBJR0719
When the Bitcoin pirates abducted my Instagram, I was watching a movie on whales.Something about how whales are worse than sharks. A documentary. I found it to be unreliable. A shark is a shark. This must be the work of thewww.onedoor.cc shark lobbyists, I thought.As I was creating oceanic conspiracies in my mind, I received a text message from a friend--“Hey, I think your Instagram got hacked. Also, you still need to Venmo me for that thing with the hot air balloon.”I’ll tell you about the hot air balloon some other time.When I went to check on my Instagram, I found that I couldn’t get into my account. I r...